Losing My Manhood - Gay Fiction Story
💗0
Date: 14th Sep 2007
My name is Carl, and I am a 21-year old junior at Dartmouth. This is my third year as a member of the equestrian team. I joined the team in order to wear breeches and boots regularly and to get dressed up for horse shows. I also joined up in order to check out the females on the team. The team was all women except for me. One would think that I dated everybody on the team and got laid all the time. That was not the case. My teammates looked at me as another girl, but in a man's body. They laughed at me for dressing well for lessons and for dressing up really well for horse shows. I enjoyed dressing up for riding. I thought that they would be impressed. Even though they mocked me, whether it was behind my back or to my face, I did not care. Every evening after riding I would masturbate multiple times. I dreamed of wearing equestrian attire, and if I could not, I would not bother to ride for the equestrian team. I felt so privileged to partake in English riding. It is such an elegant sport, and the clothes are so magnificent.
A ramble on my childhood. My real name is Carlos, and I moved to the US from Argentina when I was 14. We moved to Connecticut. My family was wealthy in Argentina, but we were bottom of the barrel in Darien. I got a job as a stable boy at the local private equestrian club. I got to see all the pretty popular girls (blue eyed blondes) from my high school there. They would ride there, have lessons there, and were also there for local horse shows. They treated me like crap and totally looked down on me. But I enjoyed the job and went home with a hard on and jerked off every evening after work. I was not popular at school. I was a foreigner with an accent. The popular guys would push me around in the hallways and in the locker room. At the riding club, their girlfriends would treat me like crap. They would whip my rear end with their riding crops. They would make me polish their boots while wearing them. I got nowhere with these girls obviously. I could not even kiss their booted feet. The only action I got was that I got involved with a fat girl named Melanie (the only non-gorgeous girl at the club) at the club. She was so undesirable that guys would reject her offers to give blowjobs. It was a shame because she had a very pretty face. We eventually got involved. Of course I always went down on her, but I never received oral pleasure While other guys got blowjobs all the time, I always performed cunnilingus for Melanie. When news of our relationship details got out, this got me further ridicule at school.
Moving on to college, I got nowhere with girls on the equestrian team. They were just like the girls at the club in Darien, except smarter. My relationships were one night stands with mediocre looking students. Now it is Spring semester at Dartmouth. I am staying on campus for the summer. I rode the last fall, and I am riding this Spring. A few of us stuck around for the semester. It was a warm May Saturday afternoon. I finished my ride and tacked up the horse. My teammates and I got dressed up and went trail riding. It was our makeshift hunt. They left promptly after the ride because they had to do women stuff at the salon. I was wearing a dressage outfit (the black riding coat was a waistcoat). I also wore a silk ascot around my neck and my dressage boots had high tops, meaning that the front had a leather flap that stood upright and covered my kneecaps. As I walked out of the stall, Scott walked into the stable. He wanted to see if Dana was around. Scott and Dana (prototypical blonde in a Ralph Lauren ad) dated for three years and recently broke up. They were still friends, and surprisingly ended their relationship amicably. Scott had the prototypical look of a Ralph Lauren model. He is really good-looking. He spoke briefly and suddenly he said, "Give me a blowjob." I said, "What?" He said, "I am hard. Get down and suck me. I have not gotten any action in a month." Scott and Dana broke up six weeks ago. I said, "No way. I am not gay." He grabbed my arms hard and said, "Get down, I am not going to ask again." I told him to walk with me and that I needed to take a few steps back. I needed to sit on a stack of hay. I could not bend my legs in these tall custom dressage boots. I told Scott to give me a couple of minutes to get a hold of myself, and that I would. He said okay. So many thoughts were racing in my mind. I was straight, but I had gay fantasies. I always fantasized about giving another guy a blowjob. In the beginning I fantasized about receiving anal sex. I was so mesmerized by the sight of a cock in porno movies and pictures. I thought it was the lowest thing for a man to do - suck off another man. But at the same time I ws so jealous of women blowing guys. Scott finally said, "Come on!" I unbuckled his belt and pulled down his jeans. He was wearing skimpy black cotton underwear, similar in style to mens' Speedo shorts. I kissed his cloth-covered cock for a minute. Then I pulled down his underwear and out popped his erect eight-inch dick. It was straight forward and pointing up at a 45 degree angle. What a sculpted and chiseled dick. I admired it for a few seconds and kissed the head briefly. I was feeling awkward and nervous. This was my first time. Was this how all these teenage girls felt their first time? I was afraid to open my mouth. Finally my mind pushed my mouth open. I took in a mouthful of Scott's erect dick. I could not take in more than five inches in my mouth. I pulled my mouth back while keeping my lips tightly around his cock. My teeth did not touch. I applied what I received and expected when women in college blew me. I moved back forward with my mouth. This continued for ten minutes. I tickled his scrotum with my left hand fingers and then extensively felt his frenulum. I tried to stroke the untouched part of his cock with my right hand fingers. I was doing the best I can. I was applying all that I liked when women blew me. I did not receive a lot of blowjobs, but I knew enough of what I wanted and liked. I assumed Scott was the same. Finally Scott shot his load in my mouth. M mouth was full of his cum. It tasted salty. TO describe it, cum is a bunch of white goo with a salty taste. It did not taste bac, just a bit salty. I did not feel like swallowing. Scott said, "Come on, pretty boy, swallow it." He pushed down on the top of my head. I finally gulped ans swallowed his load. He told me to keep licking his penis and to lick up any residue cum. I did and swallowed that too. Scott said I was pretty good for a first time. He also said that I went down pretty easily. I thought it was borderline date rape, but I actually enjoyed the experience. I am glad he was aggressive. I never would have seen myself in such a situation. I thought this scenario was only a fantasy in my mind when I lay in bed. I never expected it to happen. I was actually glas that I was slightly forced because this saves some sense of heterosexuality. This act throws in doubt my manhood and sexuality. I guess I am a pretty boy cocksucking wuss of a man. Maybe partaking in a feminine sport/activity and enjoying dressing up accordingly pushed my sexuality and enjoyment to the "opposite side of the fence". The tight breeches (and wearing skimpy briefs underenath) is kind of gay. I felt so content and satisfied. I really enjoyed giving. It reminded me of my ex-girlfriend Melanie. Instead of muffdiving, now it is sucking cock. After every riding practice or lesson, it seemed as if I was the last one to leave. Scott would show up and I wound get down and suck him. I got better at sucking. I can now deep throat him. I also leaned to master the gag reflex. He enjoyed my blowjobs. Scott said I was better than any of the girls he dated. My mouth was bigger, I was more eager to go down deeper, and I was able to handle him being rough. We also talked after the one-sided sexual encounters. We were friends, but I was his friend with benefits. Now it was early August on a Saturday morning, and I was about to ride. I was the only one there. Scott showed up; usually he came in the afternoons or evenings. This time after I blew him, he told me to turn around and bend over a stack of hay. I had on the same outfit as my first blowjob day, but I also wore a yellow vest under my black riding waistcoat. I unbuckled my belt and started to pull down my breeches. Scott took over and pulled them down to my knees. He took out a lotion bottle and poured it into one of his hands. Then I felt a slap on m right but cheek. Something warm and wet was now on my right but cheek. I was wearing a white cotton thong under my breeches. Scott did the same thing to my left cheek. I moaned loudly after each of the first two slaps. I thought I came in my thong. He slapped some more lotion on each cheek. Then he caressed both cheeks with his hands. Then he kept slapping my right cheek until I felt like it burned. He did the same to my left cheek. He took out a tube of K Y jelly and poured it into his left hand. He used his right fingers to dab some of this KY lube and applied it to my frenulum and anus area. My rear end and anus was clean. I had a bikini wax three months ago, and I used the bathroon and took a shower just before coming to the stable. Scott now probed my anus with his two fingers covered with KY. I had a sudden cold sensation in my rectum. He felt around for the male G spot in the rectum. Then he throust his fully erect manhood into my anus. I felt a sharp pain. I thought my anus was ripped wide open. I thought I was bleeding like a sink faucet. He kept on penetrating deeper and deeper. Now Scott had a rhytym. He put all 8 inches into my anal canal, and pulled out but left his dick head still inside me. He thrust forward and pulled back. This in and out rhytym continued for a half hour. Finally Scott shot his load into my anal canal. He slapped me on the but, pulled up his briefs and pants, and left. I was so sore. It was exhilirating, but I felt like my anus was ripped apart and was bleeding. I just lay there on the stack of hay for a half hour. I did not care if anybody walked in. Luckily nobody walked into the stable this morning. Finally I pulled up my thong and breeches ans walked home. I walked funny, and I hope nobody saw me. I could not get on a horse today. I felt as if a dam broke n my mind. The next three encounters Scott anally penetrated me after I blew him. After the fourth anal encounter, I realized that I like anal sex, but I can live without it. It went back to the routine of cock sucking. Scott never offered to blow me, and I did not want him to either. I want only a woman to blow me, but I also love to suck off a guy. I only want to penetrate a woman anally (and of course vaginally).
Now I began my Senior year at Darmouth. Scott got a job in New York and would leave. He told me that it was over, and we could still be friends. It was easy for him to say. I was so attached. I said sobbing, "How can you say that? I am so attached to you. You took my manhood. I sucked you all the time. I swallowed the load, and sometimes it tasted disgusting. Don't you have any appreciation?" He told me to get over it. He said that I sounded like a girl. I acted effeminately and wore tight clothing and resembles a girl, and that is why he went after me for sex. I was another sex object, except that I was a man. He said it was okay for him to do what he did because he was the dominant one. because I was the giver, I was the wuss, the faggot, the real gay. He thought I was becoming like a girl and getting all emotional, and he wanted to end it right there and then. Scott did the ultimate disrespect to me by telling all the girls on the team about our summer sexual encounters. All the girls looked down on me. They mocked me. They said what I did was sick and so low that is was unconscionable. They called me flame boy, suck boy, and other names. Rachel, a senior, told everybody that I was the stereotypical gay. Good-looking, well-dressed and had to be gay. Based on my summer encounter, it was true n their minds. I enjoyed my time with Scott, but I did not want a relationship with him. I agree that I was attached because I lost my manhood to him. I like and love women. I can have sex, friendship, love, relationship with women. I guess when it comes to sex, I am bi (gay in their book). Ironically Dana started talking to me. Eventually we became good friends, and the rest of the team left me alone. Dana was a senior, the team captain, and everybody liked and respected her. She told me that Scott said many good things about me. He was just an asshole in breaking it off with me because he was a typical insecure guy who wanted to go back to hanging out with his fraternity brothers. Dana thought I was really good to Scott, I filled a void in his life after she broke up with him. Dana told me that I treated Scott the same way that she treated him. He could not be appreciative and stick with one person for a long time. Now it was the first Saturday of October. We ere n Vermont for a horse show. After the show Dana and I went for a walk on one of the riding trails. We were both dressed in dressage attire. She had on the normal Konigs dressage boots. Otherwise we were dressed alike. We held hands the whole walk and stopped in front of a tall maple tree. We looked at each other. I moved my face forward and kissed her on the lips. Dana kissed back, and we kissed for several minutes using a lot of tongue. We are now a couple.
I do not regret my summer encounter. I explored another sexual world, and became more of a man for it. I will not get involved with another guy again. My sex and romantic life has now come full circle. Dana is my dream girl, the type of girl that I always dreamed of.
The end
A ramble on my childhood. My real name is Carlos, and I moved to the US from Argentina when I was 14. We moved to Connecticut. My family was wealthy in Argentina, but we were bottom of the barrel in Darien. I got a job as a stable boy at the local private equestrian club. I got to see all the pretty popular girls (blue eyed blondes) from my high school there. They would ride there, have lessons there, and were also there for local horse shows. They treated me like crap and totally looked down on me. But I enjoyed the job and went home with a hard on and jerked off every evening after work. I was not popular at school. I was a foreigner with an accent. The popular guys would push me around in the hallways and in the locker room. At the riding club, their girlfriends would treat me like crap. They would whip my rear end with their riding crops. They would make me polish their boots while wearing them. I got nowhere with these girls obviously. I could not even kiss their booted feet. The only action I got was that I got involved with a fat girl named Melanie (the only non-gorgeous girl at the club) at the club. She was so undesirable that guys would reject her offers to give blowjobs. It was a shame because she had a very pretty face. We eventually got involved. Of course I always went down on her, but I never received oral pleasure While other guys got blowjobs all the time, I always performed cunnilingus for Melanie. When news of our relationship details got out, this got me further ridicule at school.
Moving on to college, I got nowhere with girls on the equestrian team. They were just like the girls at the club in Darien, except smarter. My relationships were one night stands with mediocre looking students. Now it is Spring semester at Dartmouth. I am staying on campus for the summer. I rode the last fall, and I am riding this Spring. A few of us stuck around for the semester. It was a warm May Saturday afternoon. I finished my ride and tacked up the horse. My teammates and I got dressed up and went trail riding. It was our makeshift hunt. They left promptly after the ride because they had to do women stuff at the salon. I was wearing a dressage outfit (the black riding coat was a waistcoat). I also wore a silk ascot around my neck and my dressage boots had high tops, meaning that the front had a leather flap that stood upright and covered my kneecaps. As I walked out of the stall, Scott walked into the stable. He wanted to see if Dana was around. Scott and Dana (prototypical blonde in a Ralph Lauren ad) dated for three years and recently broke up. They were still friends, and surprisingly ended their relationship amicably. Scott had the prototypical look of a Ralph Lauren model. He is really good-looking. He spoke briefly and suddenly he said, "Give me a blowjob." I said, "What?" He said, "I am hard. Get down and suck me. I have not gotten any action in a month." Scott and Dana broke up six weeks ago. I said, "No way. I am not gay." He grabbed my arms hard and said, "Get down, I am not going to ask again." I told him to walk with me and that I needed to take a few steps back. I needed to sit on a stack of hay. I could not bend my legs in these tall custom dressage boots. I told Scott to give me a couple of minutes to get a hold of myself, and that I would. He said okay. So many thoughts were racing in my mind. I was straight, but I had gay fantasies. I always fantasized about giving another guy a blowjob. In the beginning I fantasized about receiving anal sex. I was so mesmerized by the sight of a cock in porno movies and pictures. I thought it was the lowest thing for a man to do - suck off another man. But at the same time I ws so jealous of women blowing guys. Scott finally said, "Come on!" I unbuckled his belt and pulled down his jeans. He was wearing skimpy black cotton underwear, similar in style to mens' Speedo shorts. I kissed his cloth-covered cock for a minute. Then I pulled down his underwear and out popped his erect eight-inch dick. It was straight forward and pointing up at a 45 degree angle. What a sculpted and chiseled dick. I admired it for a few seconds and kissed the head briefly. I was feeling awkward and nervous. This was my first time. Was this how all these teenage girls felt their first time? I was afraid to open my mouth. Finally my mind pushed my mouth open. I took in a mouthful of Scott's erect dick. I could not take in more than five inches in my mouth. I pulled my mouth back while keeping my lips tightly around his cock. My teeth did not touch. I applied what I received and expected when women in college blew me. I moved back forward with my mouth. This continued for ten minutes. I tickled his scrotum with my left hand fingers and then extensively felt his frenulum. I tried to stroke the untouched part of his cock with my right hand fingers. I was doing the best I can. I was applying all that I liked when women blew me. I did not receive a lot of blowjobs, but I knew enough of what I wanted and liked. I assumed Scott was the same. Finally Scott shot his load in my mouth. M mouth was full of his cum. It tasted salty. TO describe it, cum is a bunch of white goo with a salty taste. It did not taste bac, just a bit salty. I did not feel like swallowing. Scott said, "Come on, pretty boy, swallow it." He pushed down on the top of my head. I finally gulped ans swallowed his load. He told me to keep licking his penis and to lick up any residue cum. I did and swallowed that too. Scott said I was pretty good for a first time. He also said that I went down pretty easily. I thought it was borderline date rape, but I actually enjoyed the experience. I am glad he was aggressive. I never would have seen myself in such a situation. I thought this scenario was only a fantasy in my mind when I lay in bed. I never expected it to happen. I was actually glas that I was slightly forced because this saves some sense of heterosexuality. This act throws in doubt my manhood and sexuality. I guess I am a pretty boy cocksucking wuss of a man. Maybe partaking in a feminine sport/activity and enjoying dressing up accordingly pushed my sexuality and enjoyment to the "opposite side of the fence". The tight breeches (and wearing skimpy briefs underenath) is kind of gay. I felt so content and satisfied. I really enjoyed giving. It reminded me of my ex-girlfriend Melanie. Instead of muffdiving, now it is sucking cock. After every riding practice or lesson, it seemed as if I was the last one to leave. Scott would show up and I wound get down and suck him. I got better at sucking. I can now deep throat him. I also leaned to master the gag reflex. He enjoyed my blowjobs. Scott said I was better than any of the girls he dated. My mouth was bigger, I was more eager to go down deeper, and I was able to handle him being rough. We also talked after the one-sided sexual encounters. We were friends, but I was his friend with benefits. Now it was early August on a Saturday morning, and I was about to ride. I was the only one there. Scott showed up; usually he came in the afternoons or evenings. This time after I blew him, he told me to turn around and bend over a stack of hay. I had on the same outfit as my first blowjob day, but I also wore a yellow vest under my black riding waistcoat. I unbuckled my belt and started to pull down my breeches. Scott took over and pulled them down to my knees. He took out a lotion bottle and poured it into one of his hands. Then I felt a slap on m right but cheek. Something warm and wet was now on my right but cheek. I was wearing a white cotton thong under my breeches. Scott did the same thing to my left cheek. I moaned loudly after each of the first two slaps. I thought I came in my thong. He slapped some more lotion on each cheek. Then he caressed both cheeks with his hands. Then he kept slapping my right cheek until I felt like it burned. He did the same to my left cheek. He took out a tube of K Y jelly and poured it into his left hand. He used his right fingers to dab some of this KY lube and applied it to my frenulum and anus area. My rear end and anus was clean. I had a bikini wax three months ago, and I used the bathroon and took a shower just before coming to the stable. Scott now probed my anus with his two fingers covered with KY. I had a sudden cold sensation in my rectum. He felt around for the male G spot in the rectum. Then he throust his fully erect manhood into my anus. I felt a sharp pain. I thought my anus was ripped wide open. I thought I was bleeding like a sink faucet. He kept on penetrating deeper and deeper. Now Scott had a rhytym. He put all 8 inches into my anal canal, and pulled out but left his dick head still inside me. He thrust forward and pulled back. This in and out rhytym continued for a half hour. Finally Scott shot his load into my anal canal. He slapped me on the but, pulled up his briefs and pants, and left. I was so sore. It was exhilirating, but I felt like my anus was ripped apart and was bleeding. I just lay there on the stack of hay for a half hour. I did not care if anybody walked in. Luckily nobody walked into the stable this morning. Finally I pulled up my thong and breeches ans walked home. I walked funny, and I hope nobody saw me. I could not get on a horse today. I felt as if a dam broke n my mind. The next three encounters Scott anally penetrated me after I blew him. After the fourth anal encounter, I realized that I like anal sex, but I can live without it. It went back to the routine of cock sucking. Scott never offered to blow me, and I did not want him to either. I want only a woman to blow me, but I also love to suck off a guy. I only want to penetrate a woman anally (and of course vaginally).
Now I began my Senior year at Darmouth. Scott got a job in New York and would leave. He told me that it was over, and we could still be friends. It was easy for him to say. I was so attached. I said sobbing, "How can you say that? I am so attached to you. You took my manhood. I sucked you all the time. I swallowed the load, and sometimes it tasted disgusting. Don't you have any appreciation?" He told me to get over it. He said that I sounded like a girl. I acted effeminately and wore tight clothing and resembles a girl, and that is why he went after me for sex. I was another sex object, except that I was a man. He said it was okay for him to do what he did because he was the dominant one. because I was the giver, I was the wuss, the faggot, the real gay. He thought I was becoming like a girl and getting all emotional, and he wanted to end it right there and then. Scott did the ultimate disrespect to me by telling all the girls on the team about our summer sexual encounters. All the girls looked down on me. They mocked me. They said what I did was sick and so low that is was unconscionable. They called me flame boy, suck boy, and other names. Rachel, a senior, told everybody that I was the stereotypical gay. Good-looking, well-dressed and had to be gay. Based on my summer encounter, it was true n their minds. I enjoyed my time with Scott, but I did not want a relationship with him. I agree that I was attached because I lost my manhood to him. I like and love women. I can have sex, friendship, love, relationship with women. I guess when it comes to sex, I am bi (gay in their book). Ironically Dana started talking to me. Eventually we became good friends, and the rest of the team left me alone. Dana was a senior, the team captain, and everybody liked and respected her. She told me that Scott said many good things about me. He was just an asshole in breaking it off with me because he was a typical insecure guy who wanted to go back to hanging out with his fraternity brothers. Dana thought I was really good to Scott, I filled a void in his life after she broke up with him. Dana told me that I treated Scott the same way that she treated him. He could not be appreciative and stick with one person for a long time. Now it was the first Saturday of October. We ere n Vermont for a horse show. After the show Dana and I went for a walk on one of the riding trails. We were both dressed in dressage attire. She had on the normal Konigs dressage boots. Otherwise we were dressed alike. We held hands the whole walk and stopped in front of a tall maple tree. We looked at each other. I moved my face forward and kissed her on the lips. Dana kissed back, and we kissed for several minutes using a lot of tongue. We are now a couple.
I do not regret my summer encounter. I explored another sexual world, and became more of a man for it. I will not get involved with another guy again. My sex and romantic life has now come full circle. Dana is my dream girl, the type of girl that I always dreamed of.
The end
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